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Sometimes the music we make is more orchestra-like and the sets ebb and flow with a sense of purpose and beauty. Other times, like last night, the beat is more primal and the sounds of each individual drum are more prevalent. The music may have been a little more off-beat but still beautiful in its own unique way. The leader of the drum circle ends each evening with a meditation. His gentle words guide our imaginations to beautiful beaches, mountains, forests, and other beautiful places where the night skies are always filled with stars and the days are sunny, warm, and breezy.

Last night we took flight and drifted peacefully over a meadow reaching down to touch the softness of the multicolored petals of the flowers below us. A couple of summers ago, I received an email that may have changed my life. It was from an artist friend of mine and it started out like this,.

All is Well in My World

Due to a surplus of various kinds of pulp, I am holding a couple of papermaking open studio sessions and papermaking classes at my studio. I have Japanese pulp, casting pulp, high shrink flax, abaca and pigmented pulp for painting. I had no idea what was involved, but the opportunity was clearly too awesome to pass up.

I learned all how to make paper and I fell in love with the process. In first stage, the pulp feels wet and sort of mushy but strong. After suspending it in water, the fibers become soft and feathery. You use a frame lined with a screen to scoop up the fibers and create the foundation for a piece of paper. Once the fibers settle, you carefully peel the wet sheet off of the screen and layer it between pieces of a special fabric until the entire stack dries. When all was said and done, none of the edges of my pieces of paper were straight, the thickness varied from sheet to sheet, and many were lined with interesting creases and unintended patterns — but they were all beautiful to me.

Ink is permanent and each piece of my handmade paper was one of a kind. The thought of using ink on them was completely counter — intuitive. So ink, particularly on my handmade paper seemed like an unlikely creative outlet. I took advantage of the texture in the paper to create depth in the trunk and branches.

Our stories are gifts, and they need to be shared

The strokes of my pen grew bolder and my designs became more elaborate, detailed, and colorful with each tiny work of art. The addition of watercolor pencils and brightly colored ink transformed the imperfections in the paper into something beautiful and completely unexpected. When you draw in ink, if the pen slips and goes in an unintended direction there are two choices.

You can crumple up the drawing and give up, or you can find a way to make it work. Unless something gets in the way, I will end up writing the final entry on my birthday. It started as a personal challenge to create one small piece of artwork and focus on a positive thought for each day; it has somehow morphed into a journey of personal growth.

In addition to changing my approach to the actual words of inspiration, the process for creating the individual pieces of art started one way and ended up being completely different. What happened in reality is that it freed me up to focus on my writing. Writing a journal entry for the saying on each piece of artwork was also not part of the original plan.

Over the course of the past days and entries, my writing has grown and changed from high level observations and interpretations.

My creative confidence has increased and I believe it is reflected by the difference between my first entry. The project and the process has kept my head in a positive place during some difficult times and has been a great reminder that we can use negative energies such as fear, anger, and doubt to create something wonderful and worth sharing.

MORE IN LIFE

The quitting part may puzzle some people. The recruiter needs an answer so she can move on; I need to make my choice so I can move on. Many factors have been considered, not the least of which was the quality time I got to spend with my youngest son and his girlfriend over the past few days. In many ways we never know for sure whether or not we took the right fork in the road. The only thing we can do is make the best decision we can, based on the information we have, and hold it as our own. This one was extra special to me because my youngest son and his girlfriend agreed to be my guests.

At dinner I did my best to give them a preview so they would know what to expect. The one and only prediction I knew would come true is that they would be by far the youngest people in the group. He asks each of us to describe how we feel with one word. The words included perplexed, nervous, anxious, happy, optimistic, flurried, and uncertain.

Stormy weather got in our way in June, but we lucked out in July — and instead of playing our instruments under a roof, our heads were covered by clouds and the only light was the setting sun followed by the rising of a nearly full moon. It may only be me, but in my mind, together we traveled to distant lands while beating our drums. We became part of a rain forest; alive with chirps, clicks, and the gentle rhythms of nature while each of us played a small hand held instrument.

We also learned that almost anything can be used to create a musical sound, including an empty coffee can — as long as it still has its yellow lid. Each of us played our own quiet sound, keeping in harmony with the underlying heartbeat that led the group. I have no doubt that others also heard the waves and felt the sand between their toes as we took a moment to imagine and dream. We all used different words to describe feelings of gratitude for the chance to be temporarily transported away from our worries and fears to place where our hearts felt surrounded by peace.

One of the first personal essays I remember writing was about the definition of success. As many idealistic teenagers do, I challenged traditional ways success is measured and questioned whether or not money and material things equal happiness. Our society expects us to make life choices at a very young age. I just sometimes wonder if we do so at the expense of excelling at who we truly are as human beings.


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Truth to be told, I climbed each rung with hesitation. In my mind, there was a risk of being seen as either conceited or foolish, two traits no one wants in a friend. There are more than a few things in my business world that honestly excite, amaze, and motivate me; but the time I spend on my creative writing and art brings me far more joy and satisfaction.

The harsh reality is that the left side of my brain the logical business minded side is in a much better position to pay the rent and buy groceries than the artistic side of my brain is. And we all know that it can be difficult at best to achieve financial security, let alone prosperity through a career in art. So the question is this — How do I follow my passion, become financially secure, and also have money and time left over to have fun and find a way to contribute to the community? There are artists of all kinds who earn a living by working a day job and pursue their craft on the side.

Some are eventually able to devote themselves to their passion full time, but most do not. A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to work with a personal coach, I thought the sessions would help me define my business goals and map out a plan for success. I have a dream, and my dream is to become a published author with books in multiple genres. It is a story of discovery; it is my story of self-discovery and coming into my own.

I am driven to write because I want to be of service to others, I want to help young people make good choices and I want to help people at any stage of life realize that they can change, they can recover and soar. I particularly want to help women understand that they can be care-givers without giving up their identity, the importance of being in positive relationships, and we are all stronger than we know.

I want to teach and inspire, I want to help, I want to change the world and make it a better place. My dream is to do so through my writing, I will make people laugh, make them cry, help them feel, and make them think. I have experienced and survived things that should be shared in a way that will be helpful to others. I have the talent, I have the drive, and I now have the conviction to pursue my dreams and write my first book and many more. It was the practical and right thing to do.

The time has come to really define the dream and turn wishes into actions. Last night I could not get past writers block.


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  4. My writing direction changed once again. Thoughts about the power of positive, the importance of self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness raced through my brain. The sound of the lawnmower brought me back to reality and to the smaller kind of choices we make every day. They are what make us unique, who we are. Size: 1. We're super excited about this new offering! They're the perfect little gift of appreciation to give to someone Powered by Shopify.

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